Doodie Calls...and makes detention camp calls apparently
By Philip Cardella 5 March 2026
South Florida
Something I let fall through the cracks last week was about doodie: in last week's reporting by the Miami Herald was that contractor with the biggest contract at the so-called Alligator Alcatraz is Doodie Calls–with a $92 million contract to haul human waste to the detention camp most people seem to think is empty.
$92,000,000 of Florida taxpayer dollars to pay for the removal of doodie and pee pee from a facility most people seem to think is closed–I've seen people arguing on Facebook this week that it is closed.
Interestingly, the septic trucks rolling out of the so-called Alligator Alcatraz during this week's 31st weekly Sunday prayer vigil across from the site were unmarked. That said, the story about Doodie Calls seems to go back a Florida Phoenix report a few weeks earlier (which I also missed!)...just enough time to change the signage on the trucks? Or maybe it's just a new truck purchased with the windfall from hauling doodie for nearly $100m for one contract.
As Scott Maxwell of the Orlando Sentinel put it:
But also … 92 freakin’ million dollars to a porta-potty company??? That’s a you-know-what-load of money. All for a company whose registered lobbyist, Brian Ballard, is a fundraiser for both DeSantis and Donald Trump.
Here's a 2018 story on Brian Ballard as a top power broker in Florida, here's a December 2024 story from ABC about how Ballard would profit from Trump 2.0 as well as his connections to Trump 2.0 Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and Attorney General Pam Bondi, of course, Trump and Ballard had a falling out because of a crypto currency in 2025,
A 30 second video showing a Doodie Calls truck from last week and a nearly identical truck from this week--sans "Doodie Calls" on the door.
Interestingly, Doodie Calls website doesn't even list Collier County, where the so-called Alligator Alcatraz sits, as a county it serves. On the other hand, it does list "Naples County," and Naples is the county seat of Collier County.
An peculiar thing to me is that it seems as soon as the connection to super lobbyist Brian Ballard came out no one seemed interested in the owners of Doodie Calls, a group consisting of Kyle D. Simmons, Jeffrey Simmons and Jennie Simmons (one family?), people I for one am having trouble finding on the internet, aside from their multiple business holdings and houses. And is it impressive or odd that Doodie Calls went from an outhouse company specializing in fancy crappers and portable showers in one city in Florida in 2018 to operating in most of Florida and with operations in Texas, Louisiana and Georgia by 2026?
